Simple Ted
Shoots. Mostly at the right hoop.
Balanced: the starter
No special. Just good, honest basketball. Mostly.
Moron Hoops
Twenty Morons. One hoop each. Zero basketball skills. A silly 1v1 basketball game where the Morons are all head and no body, so they hop, bump and head the ball around the court.
Coming to phones and online.
How it works
Each Moron defends their own hoop and tries to score in the other one. Matches last 60 seconds. Baskets are worth 2 points, or 3 from your own half. If it's a tie when the clock runs out, it goes to a golden basket: next score wins.
- Play the bot on Easy, Medium or Hard.
- 2 players on one keyboard.
- Play online against anyone, or invite a friend to a private match.
- Earn coins from every match and unlock all 20 Morons. Simple Ted, Silly Billy and Fun Steve are free from the start.
- Daily crate: come back each day to build a coin streak.
- Try a special for free: after your first match, play one match as a Moron you haven't unlocked yet.
Controls
← → or A D move
↑ or W jump
Space shoot
E special move
P or Esc pause
2 players: left player A D move, W jump, G shoot, H special. Right player arrow keys to move and jump, L shoot, K special.
Phones and tablets: a thumb stick on the left, and JUMP, SHOOT and ★ buttons on the right.
Meet the Morons
Every Moron plays a little differently, and all but Simple Ted have a special move (★). Specials recharge after use, so pick your moment.
Silly Billy
Licks the ball for luck.
Harder headers
★ Slobber BallSlobbers on the ball: for a few seconds it slides off the opponent, and their shots go wild.
Fun Steve
Laughs at every miss. Including yours.
Balanced
★ Belly LaughLaughs so hard a nearby opponent has to stop and laugh too.
Angry Jim
Head-butts the ball. And you.
Faster, hits harder
★ Rage BumpShoves the opponent in front of him and knocks the ball loose.
Melvis
Dunks to the beat. Thank you very much.
Higher jump
★ Hip SwivelFor a moment nothing can push or hit him: bumps and specials bounce off.
Franken
Bolted together. Never tired.
Slow, heavy, hard to push
★ Bolt ShockZaps a nearby opponent, freezing them for a second.
Aura
Glows, so the hoop's easy to find.
Accurate
★ Halo AimThe next shot goes exactly where the glowing arc says.
Googley Eyes
Sees hoops everywhere. Mostly real.
Bouncy but wobbly aim
★ Double VisionTwo fake balls appear, to fool the opponent.
Mad Maddie
Explosive temper. Explosive dunks.
Fast
★ Boom DunkExplodes with rage: the opponent and the ball are blasted away from her.
Da Mask
Plays nights. Nobody knows who he is.
Quick and light
★ VanishGoes invisible for 2 seconds and slips straight through the opponent.
Ol One Eye
One good eye. Never misses. Sometimes.
Long-range shots
★ Eagle EyeFor 7 seconds his three-pointers are worth 4.
Ninjaa
Fast. Very fast.
Fastest, light
★ Smoke DashVanishes in a puff of smoke and reappears a few steps ahead.
Pen Goon
Slides everywhere. On purpose.
Quick on his feet
★ Ice SlideFreezes the floor around him: the opponent skids about on it.
Aaarrgh
Steals the ball. It's tradition.
Strong headers
★ PlunderSnatches a nearby ball straight onto his own head. Arr.
Ploppy
Very dense. Very hard to move.
Slowest, heaviest
★ Ground PoundSlams the floor: the ball jumps loose and anyone nearby is knocked dizzy.
Toofless
Bites the ball. Hence the name.
Heavy
★ ChompBites a nearby ball and keeps it for a second. Shoot to spit it at the hoop.
Terry Tube Mouth
Hoovers up the ball like a vacuum.
Steady aim
★ Suck & SpitHoovers in a nearby ball, then spits it at the hoop.
Viking Joe
Smashes backboards for fun.
Fast and strong
★ Horn ChargeCharges forward, flattening anyone and anything in the way.
Teardrop Timmy
Floods the court. On purpose.
Jumps a little higher
★ PuddleCries a puddle that slows the opponent down for 5 seconds.
King Moronis
The king himself plays. Badly. Royally.
A bit better at everything
★ Royal DecreeBy royal decree, his next basket in the next 5 seconds counts double.
Specials in action
Eight courts
Every match is played on one of eight courts, picked at random.
Get updates
Hear when Moron Hoops launches in December, plus news when new Moron games come out.
We only email about our games, a few times a year at most. Reply to any email to unsubscribe. Privacy policy